What I Learned From Being Ghosted

In June, 2017, I wrote that I had been on the receiving end of the cruel act of ghosting and was asked recently if the situation behind the ghosting had been resolved. Almost two years on and no, it hasn’t. I’ve hesitated about commenting further here about what happened to me and, ultimately, have decided not to. However, I think that by sharing a few of my realisations from the last two years, I might help someone in a similar situation.

Wise words

Don’t let yesterday take up too much of tomorrow.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Words have power, use them wisely.

I’m not responsible for other people’s memories.

Some people will hurt you and then act like you hurt them.

My truth may never match your truth. On matters both big and small, sometimes accounts of the same event differ.

And sometimes, you come across a quotation that sums up your feelings in just 22 words: “It’s hard to turn the page when you know someone won’t be in the next chapter, but the story must go on.” (Thomas Wilder)

10 thoughts on “What I Learned From Being Ghosted

  1. Such a lot of wisdom in your words, and in the quotations you share. We are indeed only responsible for the integrity of our own actions and not for others’ interpretation of them … Hoping where there was hurt, there is now peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very wise words Ruth. Very wise. I well remember your original post about ghosting. I like what Thomas Wilder says, “the story must go on”. My wish for you is that there will be peace in your heart over this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very wise words Ruth. It must feel so hurtful, but if the other person cannot or will not reach out to try and resolve whatever has caused the rift there really is nothing more you can do except move on. You can only hope that in time they may see that nothing positive is coming from their actions and on reflection may see that they have only caused hurt to people who did not deserve it. As you say in your first quote, tomorrow is far too important to waste time on worrying about yesterday.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I know from experience what a difficult place that is to be … some of our situations have resolved themselves, others haven’t, but I never give up hope even as we move forward enjoying our own lives!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I had never heard of this term and had to look up your original post to understand. I am really sorry for the distress it is causing you. Since you have asked in the original post and I don’t see anybody admitting being on the ghosting side, I will tell you that I might have “ghosted” a friend before and I have come to regret it because we no longer see each other. The reason was that she moved away (about an hour away) and I was always the one making the effort of driving to see her… until I got tired of it… and then we lost contact. In hindsight, I realize how stupid it was to give up on a relationship that I would probably enjoy now… I hope the person ghosting you will realize that it is their loss sooner than I have… x, Nathalie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we’re all guilty of letting relationships slide, particularly if it appears to be one sided. Ghosting, however, is a deliberate and cruel act to cut someone from your life without explanation. I’m sure you’ve never that, so don’t be too hard on yourself.


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